There are too many wonders, and too many things and questions running around in my head thismorning so I'll be jumping all over the place.
When do you stop and realise that you're doing okay with life? When do you put yourself on that list of 'I have what I want' without feeling like its a luxery? When do luxeries become every day living?
With the petrol increases that happen almost weekly, which hikes up the prices of everything else, so many people are struggling. They struggle financially to put food on the table for their kids, to pay their power bills to keep their family warm at night, to pay for the telephone bill, to get to work, car maintenance, and health, medical and life insurances.
I read a lot on message boards about how other people live, and the troubles they go through.
With my partners job, we dont have to currently worry about getting to work as we live on-site. We dont have to worry about rent as that comes with the job. We've been like this for about 6 years now. Its meant that we dont have to fill the car with $40 worth of petrol each week (rising to now $80), and we havent had to pay the $250 (rising to now $380) a week rent. Its enabled us to get into habit of a good lifestyle. We have sky tv, broadband, nice furniture, and we are able to do a lot of things without too much of a worry.
I read on the various message boards that families who are older than me, would never have sky as they cant afford it, basic things need maintaining and they cant do it, or they have no personal insurances except for basic car and contents insurances.
I think it hit me thismorning when a friend of mine was talking about 'having the life' as she was able to sit in her reclining chair with her laptop and watch sky tv. Obviously its a luxery to her. I dont know how I got to where I am. I dont know how I got to thinking that having what I have is normal.
We didnt have a lot when growing up - my parents tried, and we had enough.. but we were certainly not wealthy, or anywhere near it. We werent even in middle class I dont think. Lower/working suits.
I have a friend online who travels frequently, and not just around this country, she travels the world.. she'll go to at least 3 or 4 countries a year. Thats normal for her. She is a bit different though, she is fully aware that she is in such a good position. Except when it comes to grocery shopping as she cant bring her bill down because she refuses to give up her 'normal' food, which others would call luxeries.
I guess its all relevant, but its also a bit scary. The fact that you can change so much and not even realise.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Wisdom and patience
Wisdom and patience both seem to come with age.
I think its quite funny how middle aged people hurry a lot.. they are in such a rush to get everything done all at once and seem to thrive on stress, as if the world is going to crumble tomorrow. Whereas elder people dont rush, they always take the time to not just smell the roses, but to compare them, take photos of them, talk about them and take cuttings for their own personal gardens.
Shouldnt it be a role reversal? Younger and presumably going to live longer, to have time to do everything, yet living life so full of stress.
Grandparents can be such amazing people. I love going shopping and seeing grandparents out with their grandchildren.
They dont rush around the supermarket with a list trying to get it done in the smallest amount of time possible. They gradually go from isle to isle, answering any questions about the products on the shelves, and giving full and well explained answers. Children are often incredibly well behaved for their grandparents, and I think its because of the time invested into them that the grandparents give.
Older people are wiser like that too. They know these sorts of things, they know what is important and have their priorities set well.
I think I'm quite jealous in a way, that they are so content with taking it easy, and appear to have little to no stress.
Grandparents can be such beautiful people.
I think its quite funny how middle aged people hurry a lot.. they are in such a rush to get everything done all at once and seem to thrive on stress, as if the world is going to crumble tomorrow. Whereas elder people dont rush, they always take the time to not just smell the roses, but to compare them, take photos of them, talk about them and take cuttings for their own personal gardens.
Shouldnt it be a role reversal? Younger and presumably going to live longer, to have time to do everything, yet living life so full of stress.
Grandparents can be such amazing people. I love going shopping and seeing grandparents out with their grandchildren.
They dont rush around the supermarket with a list trying to get it done in the smallest amount of time possible. They gradually go from isle to isle, answering any questions about the products on the shelves, and giving full and well explained answers. Children are often incredibly well behaved for their grandparents, and I think its because of the time invested into them that the grandparents give.
Older people are wiser like that too. They know these sorts of things, they know what is important and have their priorities set well.
I think I'm quite jealous in a way, that they are so content with taking it easy, and appear to have little to no stress.
Grandparents can be such beautiful people.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Freight trains
I never really understood the comparison of 'living' to that of a speeding or crashed freight train.
About 3 weeks ago, maybe 4, life started speeding up - I feel like I'm on that speeding freight train that is about to crash.. the train doesnt slow down, you have no control of where its going. There are lines of which is stays on, but you have NO control of how fast it goes on those lines and you have no idea whether it will actually stay on them. Its basically a waiting game to see if you make it through the stations.
So far, so good. But far out - when will it ease? People have so many life changing things, so many 'once in a lifetime things'.. normally they're spread out. Ours are not. I'm pretty well known for biting off more than I can chew, thats just me... but I think that for once, the things are just too major.
Within 2 months (we are currently in the 5th week, so 3 to go).. we bought 2 puppies (so thats a huge new part of our family that will be with us for years), we had professional photos taken which cost thousands, we started a company to become self employed, we are moving house - not just house, but districts, so we're to move about 3 or 4 hours away. Within that, we are meant to be out of our house early in order for them to lay carpet for the new people, which move in on May 31st. We need to be out early but we cant as my Dad is moving us and he got angry when I said there could be changes. We have already asked the boss of the new place if we can move early - due to the carpet, but even if he says yes and that we're needed there, we cant go because of my Dad. So who are we to disappoint? My dad, or the future employer? We wont even be disappointing my Dad, we'll just be making him angry and being made to feel like shit.
Within the moving thing, we have my Dads new girlfriend offering to help - fucking great. As if her judging us in my dining room wasnt enough, she gets to see everything we own and literally see *everything* .
Moving house is such a stressful thing for anyone, but for me .. everything is on me, the truck, my Dad, the new boss, the cleaners, the current boss who owns this house, my Dads new girlfriend, trying to organise school for the girls and the school change over, the pets, how'll they'll travel, how we'll get 4 vehicles over there with only 3 drivers - for fucks sake.. **breathes**
Not only that, but I have to pack the entire house myself in between the normal household duties, while juggling 4 children.
All that aside.. we have a lot to do with our 'business'. We have GST to do, I have to sort out the bank account and get payments set up - I have to set up internet banking, get my shit together for the accountant. I said at the very beginning of all of this, that I had enough to do without worrying about the 'office side of things'.. My husband said that I neednt worry as he would do it all and I wouldnt have to do ANYTHING. What a bloody reversal. I dont think he could be interested any LESS. He just wants to get there and WORK.. he is a worker, not a business owner.
I DID take on my taxation unit in order to get my Diploma in Agribusiness on top of all of this.. but its about the only thing that I do for *me*. Its MY time. Its for me. Although even in doing it, I'm under a lot of pressure to get it done for our business.
Its raining. The weather is shitty and my washing wont get dry.
I havent been sleeping well lately .. I'm guessing due to stress. I've thought about going to the doctor for something, but I cant take anything because I'm breast feeding.
I dont want my train to crash.. I just want to know that its going to slow down - but I know for a fact it wont.. for about a good 18 months.
If someone happens to stumble into this and thinks 'take a break'.. how? Tell me how! With 4 children, only 2 of which go to school, so I'm responsible for 2 FULL time, plus my husband works crap days - 11 days of working before a day off. Get a babysitter? How many people can handle that many children? Split them up to different babysitters? That would make it so unaffordable. There are NO preschools around that have any vacancies for my 2 year old. I'm still breast feeding my baby. *sighs* there is no end in sight for me.
I'm tired.
About 3 weeks ago, maybe 4, life started speeding up - I feel like I'm on that speeding freight train that is about to crash.. the train doesnt slow down, you have no control of where its going. There are lines of which is stays on, but you have NO control of how fast it goes on those lines and you have no idea whether it will actually stay on them. Its basically a waiting game to see if you make it through the stations.
So far, so good. But far out - when will it ease? People have so many life changing things, so many 'once in a lifetime things'.. normally they're spread out. Ours are not. I'm pretty well known for biting off more than I can chew, thats just me... but I think that for once, the things are just too major.
Within 2 months (we are currently in the 5th week, so 3 to go).. we bought 2 puppies (so thats a huge new part of our family that will be with us for years), we had professional photos taken which cost thousands, we started a company to become self employed, we are moving house - not just house, but districts, so we're to move about 3 or 4 hours away. Within that, we are meant to be out of our house early in order for them to lay carpet for the new people, which move in on May 31st. We need to be out early but we cant as my Dad is moving us and he got angry when I said there could be changes. We have already asked the boss of the new place if we can move early - due to the carpet, but even if he says yes and that we're needed there, we cant go because of my Dad. So who are we to disappoint? My dad, or the future employer? We wont even be disappointing my Dad, we'll just be making him angry and being made to feel like shit.
Within the moving thing, we have my Dads new girlfriend offering to help - fucking great. As if her judging us in my dining room wasnt enough, she gets to see everything we own and literally see *everything* .
Moving house is such a stressful thing for anyone, but for me .. everything is on me, the truck, my Dad, the new boss, the cleaners, the current boss who owns this house, my Dads new girlfriend, trying to organise school for the girls and the school change over, the pets, how'll they'll travel, how we'll get 4 vehicles over there with only 3 drivers - for fucks sake.. **breathes**
Not only that, but I have to pack the entire house myself in between the normal household duties, while juggling 4 children.
All that aside.. we have a lot to do with our 'business'. We have GST to do, I have to sort out the bank account and get payments set up - I have to set up internet banking, get my shit together for the accountant. I said at the very beginning of all of this, that I had enough to do without worrying about the 'office side of things'.. My husband said that I neednt worry as he would do it all and I wouldnt have to do ANYTHING. What a bloody reversal. I dont think he could be interested any LESS. He just wants to get there and WORK.. he is a worker, not a business owner.
I DID take on my taxation unit in order to get my Diploma in Agribusiness on top of all of this.. but its about the only thing that I do for *me*. Its MY time. Its for me. Although even in doing it, I'm under a lot of pressure to get it done for our business.
Its raining. The weather is shitty and my washing wont get dry.
I havent been sleeping well lately .. I'm guessing due to stress. I've thought about going to the doctor for something, but I cant take anything because I'm breast feeding.
I dont want my train to crash.. I just want to know that its going to slow down - but I know for a fact it wont.. for about a good 18 months.
If someone happens to stumble into this and thinks 'take a break'.. how? Tell me how! With 4 children, only 2 of which go to school, so I'm responsible for 2 FULL time, plus my husband works crap days - 11 days of working before a day off. Get a babysitter? How many people can handle that many children? Split them up to different babysitters? That would make it so unaffordable. There are NO preschools around that have any vacancies for my 2 year old. I'm still breast feeding my baby. *sighs* there is no end in sight for me.
I'm tired.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)