Freight trains

I never really understood the comparison of 'living' to that of a speeding or crashed freight train.
About 3 weeks ago, maybe 4, life started speeding up - I feel like I'm on that speeding freight train that is about to crash.. the train doesnt slow down, you have no control of where its going. There are lines of which is stays on, but you have NO control of how fast it goes on those lines and you have no idea whether it will actually stay on them. Its basically a waiting game to see if you make it through the stations.

So far, so good. But far out - when will it ease? People have so many life changing things, so many 'once in a lifetime things'.. normally they're spread out. Ours are not. I'm pretty well known for biting off more than I can chew, thats just me... but I think that for once, the things are just too major.

Within 2 months (we are currently in the 5th week, so 3 to go).. we bought 2 puppies (so thats a huge new part of our family that will be with us for years), we had professional photos taken which cost thousands, we started a company to become self employed, we are moving house - not just house, but districts, so we're to move about 3 or 4 hours away. Within that, we are meant to be out of our house early in order for them to lay carpet for the new people, which move in on May 31st. We need to be out early but we cant as my Dad is moving us and he got angry when I said there could be changes. We have already asked the boss of the new place if we can move early - due to the carpet, but even if he says yes and that we're needed there, we cant go because of my Dad. So who are we to disappoint? My dad, or the future employer? We wont even be disappointing my Dad, we'll just be making him angry and being made to feel like shit.
Within the moving thing, we have my Dads new girlfriend offering to help - fucking great. As if her judging us in my dining room wasnt enough, she gets to see everything we own and literally see *everything* .
Moving house is such a stressful thing for anyone, but for me .. everything is on me, the truck, my Dad, the new boss, the cleaners, the current boss who owns this house, my Dads new girlfriend, trying to organise school for the girls and the school change over, the pets, how'll they'll travel, how we'll get 4 vehicles over there with only 3 drivers - for fucks sake.. **breathes**
Not only that, but I have to pack the entire house myself in between the normal household duties, while juggling 4 children.
All that aside.. we have a lot to do with our 'business'. We have GST to do, I have to sort out the bank account and get payments set up - I have to set up internet banking, get my shit together for the accountant. I said at the very beginning of all of this, that I had enough to do without worrying about the 'office side of things'.. My husband said that I neednt worry as he would do it all and I wouldnt have to do ANYTHING. What a bloody reversal. I dont think he could be interested any LESS. He just wants to get there and WORK.. he is a worker, not a business owner.
I DID take on my taxation unit in order to get my Diploma in Agribusiness on top of all of this.. but its about the only thing that I do for *me*. Its MY time. Its for me. Although even in doing it, I'm under a lot of pressure to get it done for our business.

Its raining. The weather is shitty and my washing wont get dry.

I havent been sleeping well lately .. I'm guessing due to stress. I've thought about going to the doctor for something, but I cant take anything because I'm breast feeding.

I dont want my train to crash.. I just want to know that its going to slow down - but I know for a fact it wont.. for about a good 18 months.

If someone happens to stumble into this and thinks 'take a break'.. how? Tell me how! With 4 children, only 2 of which go to school, so I'm responsible for 2 FULL time, plus my husband works crap days - 11 days of working before a day off. Get a babysitter? How many people can handle that many children? Split them up to different babysitters? That would make it so unaffordable. There are NO preschools around that have any vacancies for my 2 year old. I'm still breast feeding my baby. *sighs* there is no end in sight for me.

I'm tired.