Okey dokey

Its been a while huh.

I've recently found out what 'busy' means.. damn.. I was in for a treat. Its crazy.. life can be crazy.
I have too many things to type about, so again, I'll jump all over the place.
First of all though .. guess who got a crash course in tractor driving with no instructor? ME !! My husband took his 4wd bike up to the cows over the weekend when it was just him working as the guys were having their days off.. and he got stuck.. only God knows why he attempted to go through the muddy slush mess that he got stuck in. Anyway, the 2 month old tractor was sitting in the shed with the forks on the ground.. for someone who had never started a tractor before, especially one with forks on it, had to get in, drive it 5km up the road (its 100km zone and the tractor goes a maximum of 40km), and pull my husband out of the mud in the middle of a paddock. Oh man. That was an experience.. its like driving over a bridge.. really uncomfortable but you have no choice.. if you want to get to where you're going, you just have to do it!! I figured it out alright and I feel actually did quite well. It would have been far better if I had figured out how to use the radio though!!

Right.. I'm fat. Well, not so much, but I am rather plump. I've had 4 kids, give me a break. I carry the weight around my belly and feel completely and utterly unattractive. I'm very self consious about it and rather uncomfortable.. but at the end of the day, I dont have the time or energy to exercise. I cant run like I used to, hell I cant even walk like I used to. I know its something that you have to build up to, but still.. I'm so unfit that its unbelievable.
I hate feeling fat. I just wish I could shrink without having to work at it.

Have you ever got that feeling when you walk into a room and everyone was just talking about you, and you get this eery silence that is awkward and uncomfortable?? Well I can officially say that I have now had that feeling. We had my mums birthday recently which was a quiet family dinner at my aunts house. I love my family, they're all really great people.. but I dont understand certain aspects of it. Maybe I've changed? Maybe its not them.. I dont know.. I dont get it. I just felt really on the outside.. my husband felt it aswell. I would never tell my aunt though as she goes out of her way to make people feel welcome. I think my children were well behaved, so I know it wasnt that.. it was just weird. Maybe things change when you're away for so long. I havent lived near them in a long time. I'm also so different. No one else there had any children, none of them work or live on farms, and they are all into the same things. I dont think I fit in anywhere in our family anymore.. its a bit odd to feel that way. Oh well.. instead of a black sheep, I think I'll go with being a fresian cow instead of a jersey LOL

My girls are good, they've settled into their school really well and we're really having a lot of fun these school holidays. I tried teaching my 2 oldest, how to play knucklebones.. they cant catch them on the back of their hand yet but they'll get there.. maybe I'll try elastics next.

Oh well .. I should really go and rest. I have my first ear infection and I should sleep while I can.
I might start writing more.. I'll have to try at least !