Disturbing ?

Do you ever have many 'car crash' moments? When you know you shouldnt be watching but you just cant move your eyes?

I found myself staring at a man today. He was in his 40's or 50's, walking in the middle of town at 9pm this evening, with a cloth shoulder bag which seemed to be stuffed with plastic bags. He came toward my vehicle and stopped at the half filled rubbish bin that I was parked next to.

He put his entire arm inside the rubbish bin as if knowing exactly what was in there, and pulling out a half full bottle of budget cola and popping it inside his bag.

Was it filled with alcohol that had been dumped there as the police were just up the road? Or was he actually digging around the rubbish bins to find what he could consume for the day?

You have to remember that either of these theories are not good. It is December the 22nd, so 3 days until christmas, and its a Monday. Who drinks on a Monday?

Am I *that* sheltered that I dont realise there are homeless people in my home town, which I always thought to be safe and friendly? How many homeless live here? Is it due to the recession, or their own personal problems? Why is no one there for them? Why are they left to suffer?

I feel like a very naive child sometimes with all too much to learn about the world.

Hair today, gone tomorrow... ?

This is going to be one hell of a boring blog.

I have short hair. My children pull it and I really couldnt be bothered with the hassle of having such long hair, so I cut it off! I've felt great for a year! Well, over a year now. I have short hair, brown, somewhat spiky - I throw gel in it and thats me for the day. Easy.

Anyway.. it has come to my attention that this is the look of a lesbian LOL .. umm, no I dont agree with it, but there are 2 more reasons to get out of this look. 1) I think my face is too fat for short hair and 2) I feel quite ugly to be honest. You see all of these beautiful women with lovely long hair, yet very few with short hair - they all look like they're making a statement, going against the grain.

Well, I want to be pretty. I've said that before. Maybe its impossible? Maybe its not.
I asked a friend, grow it, or keep it short? She was just as confused as me - if you know me, and have seen me, then please tell me what you think LOL

I dont really have much else to say today. Its been very up and down. Its been scary, angry, upset, happy, bizarre and quite nice. We've had it all.

Hmm

Do you think that you lose your loved one, the same way you found them?

My husband doesnt like me talking to males on the internet because that is how we met. He's scared that I'll lose him the same way. Its to the point where I'm not 'allowed' to have males on my msn list. That really sucks.

About a fortnight or so ago, his brother left his wife and 3 children (hang on .. bad 'aunty' moment.. I KNOW they have 2 boys .. cant picture a third.. maybe he just left 2 .. ugh, he left his wife and children..) to go and live with his new girlfriend who he met off facebook. He had obviously been cheating on his wife for some time before moving in with his new woman.
To put this as short as possible, my brother in law, got married and had 3 children, then he started shagging his neighbours wife.. and his wife started shagging the neighbours husband - so they swapped partners and each got married to the other partners. So now, after he cheated on his first wife to get his 2nd wife, he has cheated on his 2nd wife to get to his new girlfriend.
That really sucks.
I live on the other side of the world - which wife am I going to meet? And which set of children will I meet? I dont know if I want to meet the 3rd one as I really like the 2nd one. She is really nice.
My mother in law really likes the 1st one.

Speaking of which.. my husband and I have paid for my mother in law to come over here for a month starting February. I'm really excited about that.

I read that I've been tagged to write 7 random things about me.
I'm an incredibly boring person and dont really know what to write for that one. I guess I'll have to 'dig deep'..

1) When I was 16 and living in a small 2 bedroom flat with my boyfriend, the neighbour was going to gas his kittens which I highly objected to and ended up taking them and temporarily having 10 felines all up in our small flat!

2) In that same flat, with the same guy, he came over to our house once and asked me for my urine. He needed to do a urine test for the police to prove that he didnt have any drugs in his system, and figured I'd be a good drug-free candidate.

3) I started a new course yesterday actually AT a school, with real classrooms, a real tutor and real classmates. I have a feeling that I wont be finishing the studies though as I question just about everything he is trying to teach. I think the class is bullshit to be honest - I'm paying $1000 for our worker and myself to get a piece of paper to prove we've done the course. The course is one of the highest you can get and yet its incredibly bland and written for dumbasses. I cant spell dumbasses but that doesnt mean that I am one.

4) My last 2 hair cuts have been done by my husband, both of which after me threatening to shave it all off if he doesnt do it. Now THATS love.

5) I still suck my thumb. I'm 25, a mother of 4, a business owner and suck my thumb. Who cares? Apparently lots of people do - I dont. I have very good sucking action and a very capable mouth.

6) I think I have watched every made episode of Hannah Montana and High School Musical.

7) I'm gluten intolerant - and meant to be dairy intolerant aswell. I make allowances on the dairy and am always up for a good beer.

Well today is quite sad

We've had a few really good days. So many challenges - oh so many!! More challenges than most people get in their first year doing what we're doing.
Anyway **sighs**, the truck is outside. The cows are being loaded. Away they'll be going in about 5 short minutes.

These beautiful, plump, well fed, round bellied, quiet, loved heifers that came to us in a state that the SPCA would be grumpy with; as skinny as hell with evidence of lice and severe malnourishment, are leaving today to go to the farm that they were originally going to be milked on.

We were basically doing the owner a favour by calving and milking them while he got his milking shed ready.

I'm gutted.

I knew this day was coming - we all did. We were prepared, the paper work is done, the records are right, but now that the day has come.. it is very disheartening.
We've put so much money, time, feed and love into these girls, bringing them up not just to a 'good state', but we have a reputation of having the best stock in the area - these girls are a part of that. The owner is getting prime stock while we miss them.
We couldnt milk them as much as we wanted to due to their original condition.

I hope that whoever milks them as of tomorrow, respects them, and cares for them. I hope that they deserve the best stock.



On another sad note, tomorrow is the birthday of my old classmate who committed suicide 7 years ago. I can never think about her without asking why. Such a beautiful, bright, talented girl.

Why.

It would be her 25th. Its crazy. I forget just about everything .. my own birthday doesnt matter, but I've never forgotten hers.

**looks out the window** there goes the truck.