Randomness

I havent been here that often - havent had much to say really which is most unlike me!
So I thought I'd make a blog of all the small things that have happened recently

1) The bigest : Pride.

I recently discovered a new type of pride.
One where you put yourself out there to be judged and critised by people that dont even know you, and to have lost a competition by people who are better than you in your industry of work - only to be told a few weeks later that we were the most enthusiastic people the judges had seen and wished that we could have won an enthusiasm award. The judges were happy with us and want to see us go further and go again next year. They had a laugh and seemed to genuinely like us and want us to go further. After putting yourself out there, being left down, and being brought up - thats my pride for the week!

Next year, we will be doing it all over again, just as excited as we were this year! :0)


2) Disappointment.

I cant believe I'm typing this on the internet, but a couple of weeks ago, I got asked when I was due to have my next baby - well sorry dude, but I'm not pregnant. Yes I have 4 children and yes I have been lazy - and also found it hard to get back into shape after my 4th and final child - give me a break. Anyway - I went to town and bought a treadmill. I've wanted one for years - a motorized one that sets the pace and you have to do it. I dont think I do too badly on it. I weighed myself a week ago - 78kg. I weighed myself last night - 82kg. I've put ON 4kg. How the fuck can diet and exercise make me gain 4kg in a week?? Dont you dare say muscle because I dont want muscle at the moment.. I want no fat!
To be honest, I think the scales were wrong in the first instance and hubby might have fixed them since then.
I remember when I went on a gluten free diet when I was diagnosed with coeliacs disease - I lost 18kg. My goal at the moment is to be at 60kg. I cant go gluten free again as I already am!
I have another goal aswell - there is a triathlon in my hometown in December or early November. I'm thinking of entering - hopefully I can con my sister into doing it with me. Its only a 100m swim which I know I could do.. well I hope I could do. The biggest part is the bike ride which I loooooove doing.

I'm sure I'll do it fine .. slowly, but fine :P


3) Fear

We fired one of our staff members last week and I genuinely feared for my safety and the safety of my dog. He hates my dog and I'm sure that he had something on his when he came storming up to the back door. I've never felt so threatened in all my life. I feel for him really. It is a sad and awkward situation. I didnt sleep well that night. Its getting better though.


4) Worry

After firing our employee and being unable to sleep, I amused myself online while trying not to think about what this guy could do. While online, I was msning a friend of mine who seemed happy and life was going great for her - until later into the night when it was revealed that she thinks she has post natal depression and scared her partner a few days earlier by wanting to take her own life. She is such a bubbly, warm and kind person and she feels so alone at the moment. She is too busy working her ass off to help her business, help her husband, and care for her children, so she doesnt have time to go to the doctor. I pleaded with her - I dont know what else to do. What if I realise what to do, after its too late? I dont know who knows - who can help her. I've never met her before as shes an online friend and doesnt live near me.
I worry for her. I might have to look her up and give her a phone call. That will scare her into going to the doctor hopefully - having someone she has never spoke to her before on the phone, calling to see how she is.. lol.


5) Sadness
In the current state of the world, and the recession - business owners are taking on more work themselves and laying off staff. Another online friend of mine in her 60s, well her husband was pretty much guarenteed a lifelong job at a specific place, which was fantastic as they found it hard to get work because of his age. This year, he has been laid off. She doesnt know where they will live, how they will pay their bills, how they will survive. they should be enjoying their lifestyle, not worrying about being homeless.


6) Fear, worry and sadness.
We have 4 beautiful children. We have offered to take 2 more as their home is unsafe for them. Apparently this is not a temporary measure. I dont want to go into too much here, but you can tell by heading, what is going through us.




Should I leave on a happy note?
Well I have a new hobby. I recently got taught how to use a chainsaw properly, so have been cutting wood. I also managed to use the axe correctly too.
I tell you - my husband is a damn lucky man sometimes! I cut, chop, stack and bring it inside!!
I'm sure the novelty will eventually wear off but for now - I'm having fun :0)

Heartfelt moments of children

I have the most beautiful children, who can have the most kindest hearts.

For christmas, Miss 5 bought Miss 7 a letter writing set with embossed envelopes and lovely pictures. So Miss 7 began writing letters to the people in her life that she loved.

She wrote 3, one to a very good friend of mine who looks after the children when we need her to, one to me, and one to my husband. She was playing outside and I simply couldnt help myself but to read the letters that she had written and neatly tucked inside of the envelopes.

The first one, to my friend :

Dear ...
Thank you for looking after us when mummy was not here, I hope you had a good time with us. I love you, love from ***.

It was a wee bit more extended but you get the picture.

Feeling such great pride in that she had written this all by herself with no help and was genuinely thankful and grateful, with such kindness and lovingness toward my friend, I couldnt help but wonder what she had written about me, being her mother. So I placed the first letter back neatly into the first envelope addressed to my friend, and popped it back in place. I gently took my one from the wee pile and opened it up to have a read to keep that 'awww' feeling.
It read:

Dear Mummy,
Do you like milking cows with Daddy? Because I would get poos and wees on my arms.
Love from ***.

**sigh**